Social Networking and the Popular Girls

It is ironic to me that the majority of voices I hear discussing social media and social networking are male. Not that there is anything wrong with that – it's great but here's the conundrum for me: high school girls, particularly the popular ones, have a sophisticated understanding of social networks that could shame many of us. The difference is that it is so ingrained with the way they operate that most of them could not articulate it….but why are we not, collectively, talking to more of them?

What is it that the popular girls know?

• Why it is important to be a hub
• How to control information for their own benefit
• How to spread information depending on their goal (to throw a party, to harass someone, etc.)
• How to be exclusive and isolate others from the group
• The importance of weak links
• How to brand themselves
• Who to trust in what circumstances
• The power of developing pent up demand

Now I am not suggesting that we want to replicate high school in our organizations (the horror); two things that most of these girls lack is maturity and judgment so they use their power for good and a great deal of evil and that has drastic consequences. However, why are we as adults relearning things that these girls know better than most of us do?

Additionally for almost every element listed above, there is a wildly successful Internet business:

• Hub: Amazon, eBay
• Control of information: Google
• Spread of Information: Digg, CNET
• Exclusivity: Facebook,
• Weak links: LinkedIn
• Branding: Google, Amazon, eBay
• Levels of trust: ePinions, Yelp
• Developing Demand: [This one I don't have a good example for]

While understanding the impact of social networking on organizations is more complex than looking at high school social relationships, it is worthwhile thinking about these girls…they know things that we are still struggling to articulate and understand.

Update:

One, Joe jarred my thoughts and Apple does an incredibly good job of generating pre-release demand for products although they are not strictly an Internet-only business.

Second, Sam Lawrence's blog post on influential women bloggers (thanks Sam!) pointed me to Anne Zelenka's blog where I found a NYTimes' article on teenage girls' online behavior although it talks more about content creation than social networking per se.

Comments

[Joe Cascio]

Under developing demand, you could include "invitation-only" beta sites. Seesmic and several other sites used this not necessarily for creating interest and demand, but it did have that effect.

Do you think that these girls are popular because they were endowed with a more refined sense of social mechanics, or the converse, that they develop a more refined sense because their looks make them popular? Certainly everyone in high school, popular or not, knows the "rules".

Do you think women who were "popular" in high school would be more able to articulate that knowledge? I wouldn't think that ability or intuition would ever leave one.

[Rachel Happe]

Hi Joe -

Yes, Seesmic did do this well..but they are not a huge Internet success...yet. But that reminded me of who does do this well...Apple product launches create huge pre-release demand.

I think popular girls are popular because they understand these dynamics better than everyone else. They are not always the best dressed or the most beautiful (the girl who has all the most recent clothes but is still socially isolated comes to mind...and it typically viewed as a little desperate by her peers.) And, yes, these girls grow up and keep the knowledge with them...but I think they often don't realize what they know because it has become so ingrained.

Thanks for the comments.

[Aaron Strout]

Rachel,

Two points to make:
1) Kudos for starting a blog. I love talking with you F2F, on the phone and via Twitter. It's nice to have one more channel via which to connect with you and read more about what you're thinking! I think you'll find that your blog help you significantly with your analyst work (not to mention further build your street cred as a SM guru.)

2) The topic of "why aren't there more women in social media" is fascinating to me. As you point out, girls and women are probably the best equipped to instruct the larger crowd on how to be more socially adept (God knows we males aren't always very good at it.) I'm encouraged to see that at least 1/4 to 1/3 of my Twitter followers are female (most are hard core social media enthusiasts) but would obviously love to see more of a 50/50 mix.

Having more prominent females blogging, twittering, speaking and leading is a good thing for social media. Amen for demonstrating your leadership role in this space!

Best,
Aaron (@astrout)

[Rachel Happe]

Thanks for stopping by and leaving a nice note Aaron - I appreciate the support.

I think you are right...maybe all that needs to happen is more of us need to step up to even out the voices. Here's to stepping out!

[Debbie Swee]

Hi Rachel, nice post! I chanced upon your blog while I was reading the Metcalfe's Law article on O'Reilly. We should publish on our Facebook page! What do you think? Cheers.

[Winnie Tong]

Under "developing demand" might I suggest woot.com, a site that sells only one discounted item per day.

[Rosie]

Maybe we're relearning because we weren't the popular girls in high school? :) I know I wasn't.

I like your comparison to the traits that the 'popular' girls had how they match up to different web companies.

[gina]

One thing the popular girls do is squash anyone that could detract from their popular status. They do this by alienating people with different exciting ideas, and encouraging the rest of the group to the same.
Surely that sort of thing is counter-intuitive to the power of social media...

[Rachel Happe]

Debbie - Woot - of course!
Winnie - thank you
Gina - I agree - that is partly my point, they understand how to use social relationships...but they often don't have maturity, judgment, respect for others, etc....but they are worth watching because they use social relationships and information so well - in both good and bad ways. I'm not suggesting we copy them, just use them to understand relationships and information exchange and its impact on power dynamics, etc.